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My Flaws? I just love them!
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Jan 19, 2009 9:33 pm
2086 Views
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I am very irritated by people who make comments about me.
These are the few following comments which I detest a lot.
1) "Your eyes are huge” and they will start to peer at me like I’m an alien. Well, I suppose my eyes are big, but they are not huge, for Christ sake! I can't help but feel that I'm like some kind of housefly which eyes occupy 1/5 of its body.  Who cares if they are big/small if you can see properly? Tsk Tsk..
2) Your voice is so high pitch and sharp”. Yes, it is true that whenever I get excited my voice will somehow become sharp. Yes so what if I sound like a 9 years old kid?? It is better to have a high pitch kiddy voice than to have a deep, low and monotone voice. I received a few other comments about my voice as well. “Your voice sounds like a bimbo” LMAO! This is the funniest comment I’ve ever heard about my voice. How does a bimbo’s voice exactly sound like? If you said “Your speech is much similar to a bimbo’s” I would have feel much better. So my voice made me sounds like a bimbo?? Funniest joke ever! How on earth can you link voice and bimbo together? What is the relation?
3) “You are too skinny” Yes, I understand that my arms look like sticks but have you seen other parts of my body? They are healthy! For your information, fats are usually stored at your tummy and thighs so no surprise that my arms are like sticks. Besides, different people have different body build! Lastly, I am skinny so what? At least I don’t look like an anorexic!
4) “You cheeks are so chubby”, “You look like you have cheek implants” I am still a teenager so I suppose that I have yet to lose my baby fats. But no, my cheeks are real, no cheek implants at all. I can’t afford such surgeries.
5) “You look plastic”. Hilarious shit! How do you define “plastic-looking” this links back to no (4). My face look stiff when I strike a pose for the camera, it’s always in the awkward smile mode but do I look plastic just because of that?? Am I supposed to make funny faces to suggest that I don’t look plastic? And no, I don’t have BOTOX injected into my face muscles. I am too young for that.
Thanks to all these people who made me realized that I can come to love my flaws. No matter what you say, I am not gonna let it affect me. It will just take it as a joke. HAHAHA. Thanks for commenting and your concern~
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Funniest! LMAO! hahaha.!!
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Jan 19, 2009 1:08 am
1842 Views
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When the phone ring, 'green green'
I pink up the phone and say "yellow?"
"Blue is this?"
"White do you want?"
"You don't purpley call me!"
"You made me angry. I will not call you black!"
For those who think that I am insane, Please Read again and get yourself a good laugh.
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Still don't get it?
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LMAO!
LOL!
KKK!
WAHAHAHA!
HEHEHE!
Uhm, well.... I guess it wasn't that funny afterall.
= __ =''''
DUH!!
 This mannequin is beautiful huh~
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feeling rather emotional lately~
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Jan 17, 2009 6:50 am
1268 Views
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Chatted with a really nice chap today. I spent 6 hours of my time chatting with him! It broke my previous record of 4 hours! I think it’s really long cause I have never paid someone full attention for such a long time! I will start losing attention if I chat with the same person for an hour.
I was a little pissed at the first hour because he was saying really nice things about me which makes me feel rather uncomfortable. I kinda dislike flatteries. Maybe a sincere one is good enough but not too much cause I feel that the person is just trying to lick your boots. I am kinda sick of people who made you trust them and then they disappoint you by backstabbing you. Haha. The world is like that. REAL WORLD.
We talked about random stuffs, discussed about plastic surgery (I love discussing about plastic surgery with Koreans =D ), korean culture and some other things which I most probably forgot cause I can’t recall. I was thinking of someone else and some other matters. Someone who was left forgotten for a very long time but I knew he was tucked somewhere at a corner of my mind. Every scene was part of my memories but I refused to rake them up. Why choose to brood over it? I analyzed myself and I realized that I was shunning and avoiding all these time. In order to appear strong, I sacrificed something. It was my personality. I let my persona take over and face the world with it. I was about to break down then Casey spoke in my ear, she was pulling me back. She was refusing Youli to surface. Thinking back now, I am asking myself this question: “Why do I felt like crying just now?” Some question that most probably a psychologist will attempt, hoping to find some results. So what if I know the reason behind it? I can’t reverse back time and confess how I felt all these times. I shouldn’t brood over meaningless stuffs and I should just move on. =) Ajar Ajar fighting!
I am really worried for Mr kwon cause he have severe insomnia like me and he was down with fever! High probability of conking out when your brains don’t get enough oxygen. Well, hope that god will bless him.
I was really emotional today. Maybe I was just very tired and moody. I was in a crappy mood and feel a little depressed. I have no idea why, bad hangover? PMS? Stress due to assignments?? I think it should be PMS. That is the best explanation.LOL. I shouldn't allow myself to be emotional too often. Should be logical from now on.
People I am turning in early tonight! No use trying to study when I am all so screwed up and tired. I promise I will finish all assignments drafts before heading for the next dicussion scheduled on this upcoming monday. PLEASE DON'T BEEP/CALL ME UNLESS NECESSARY CAUSE I REALLY NEED SOME PEACEFUL SLEEP TONIGHT!!! Thanks! Shall see you guys soon!! Shall miss you guys till then~
I think this is a really beautiful song. Very inspiring lyrics. Just when I feel like breaking down and giving up, listening to this song really give me the strength to carry on.
Someone watching over me ‒ Hilary Duff
I found myself today,
Oh I found myself and ran away,
something pulled me back,
Voice of reason I forgot I had,
All I know is your not here to say,
What you always used to say,
But it's written in the sky tonight
CHORUS
So I won't give up,
no I won't break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and I will be strong
even if it all goes wrong,
when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe,
someone's watching over me
VERSE 2
Seen that ray of light,
and it's shining on my destiny
shining all the time
and I won't be afraid
to follow everywhere it"s taking me
all I know is yesterday is gone
and right now I belong
to this moment, to my dreams
CHORUS
So I won't give up,
no I wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and I will be strong
even if it all goes wrong
when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
someone's watching over me
BRIDGE what does it mean
It doesn't matter what people say
and it doesn't matter how long it takes
believe in yourself and you'll fly, high,
and it only matters how true you are
be true to yourself and follow your heart
CHORUS
So I won't give up,
no I wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and I will be strong
even if it all goes wrong
when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...
That I won't give up,
no I wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and I will be strong
even when it all goes wrong
when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe....
that someone's watching over
someone's watching over
someone's watching over me
yeah yeah oh-OH..
Someone's watching over me...
Quote for the day:
I know who is tries to stuck me up, and who is being true to me
I know who tries to put me down, and who motivates me
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Hectic life but pleasurable in some ways
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Jan 16, 2009 12:06 am
1298 Views
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Hi world.
I am very busy recently. With school work. Have lots of research work to do, organize slides for presentation. It was quite fun though. There’s this sense of satisfaction and belonging. For the past one year after I completed high school educations and my results ain’t good enough to get me into any psychology course, I have been doing nothing. What I feared most was people asking me if I am still a student. I don’t feel like I belong to any occupation or group at all.
I went over to Silah’s place at 2 am to chill out and have a little talk. Gosh, I miss her alot! Have not been contacting her for at least 1 year ever since our high school education ended. That feeling was really great! 2 night owls chatting, snacking, giggling and watching TV together. After some rest, We went for brunch and I bought some beer to ‘ cool’ myself down. Have been feeling ultra hyper active and I haven’t sleep for the past 35 hours. My body is really tired, but my brains are still working and running like mad. I am thinking of my endless schoolwork. Attempted to drink some beer to try to get some sleep but failed to do so cause I was woken up by my dad phone’s call asking where I was.
Anyway I am glad that I managed to convince Silah to start blogging again. I used to be a faithful reader of her blog until she was forced to close down her blog due to spamming. Well, the culprit was her ex boyfriend. I think it’s really god damn childish of a full grown 20 odds man ‒( who is apparently not acting like his age) to be all so sore about the breakup , can’t handle stress and do nonsensical stuffs. He posed as Silah’s identity and post nasty comments on her blog and a couple of others as well. I reckoned his mental age is like only 6?? I totally understand the situation that Silah faced because my blog was once spammed as well. Thus, it is advisable not to put on any tag board or comment page for your blog. Or create a password and only allow certain ppl whom you can trust to view your blog. I feel that KFF blog is a safe one; you can trash everything you like, your thoughts and feelings without fearing that the next day your blog will get contaminated with filthy/nasty comments from your anti-fans. And I guess most probably my acquaintances / friends don’t know about this blog’s presence so I don’t have to worry much.
My other lecturer is from Hong Kong and he has this really strong HK accent which I don’t understand at all. He pronounces words in a funny way which make us sweat trying to figure out what he’s trying to convey to us. He ends every sentence with ‘la’, ‘hor’ & ‘ma’ which I think it’s most probably slang? He pronounced ‘theory’ as ‘ferry’ which makes me totally confused until I clear my doubts by asking my classmates about it. Btw his favourite phrase is : “Don’t worry la”. I’m a good observer, huh?
Gotta do lots of stuffs today. I have only slept for 2 hours. It is 3.40pm now and I have a project discussion at the airport terminal 2 at 10 pm. Have to leave at 9 pm.
Need to do some preparations:
1) Research on twins
2) Read up on both articles
3) Highlight major pointers and gist
4) Draft of ideas on question no 1 & 2
Assignment due next Tuesday :
1) Research on twins
2) Research on APA (American Psychological Association) style of writing
3) How self awareness/esteem is important in children
Assignments due next lesson (CK):
1) Research on : 1) happiness (2) Johari window (3) Edward de Bono (4) 6 thinking hats (5) creativity
2) Questionnaires
Assignment due on week 5:
1) All 8 articles report
Assignment due on week 9:
1) Research on happiness:
- Questionnaires
- Graphs
-statistics
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1st day of school and I feel demoralized -.- TSK TSK
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Jan 14, 2009 7:18 am
962 Views
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Please pardon me. This blog post is totally disorganized and messy!
I really looked forward to school. I left my house 1 and half hour before my lesson starts. Took a bus to TAMPINES interchange. From TAMPINES train station I took a train to TIONG BAHRU train station.
It was stated in my school map/ information brochure that I can take bus 14 from opposite TIONG BAHRU plaza to reach Spring building. The funny thing was that, there is no bus 14 service there at all. So I took a bus to REDHILL interchange. When I reached REDHILL interchange, I took a bus to SPRING building.
It was so TEDIOUS to get to my school.
For the first day of school and I was already so worn out. Can’t imagine the days ahead, how am I gonna survive those long boring trips?? I ought to buy more novels as companion.
I really have no sense of directions at all. I can’t recognize routes and places.
Initially I thought I will be late (it is a bad habit of mine) but much to my surprise, I was the first to reach!! Everyone else was late for a minute or two.
We did a self introduction it was really fun getting to know everyone. Some work as a nurse, social worker, some in HR department etc etc.
My self - into went: “you can call me you li as well. It means glass.”
“Which language is that?”
“Korean”
“Oh you are from Korea?”
“uhm, no”
Our humorous lecturer made several funny comments like “oh you came for this course cause you knew I will be teaching?” and everyone burst into laughter.
I forgot what else he had said but all I remember was that he is god damn funny and easy going!
The lecture notes and lessons are quite profound and complicating. I can’t seem to understand what he was talking about. Got to work extra harder!
My classmates were at least in their 20 odds so I guess they have much more experience than me. I’m at disadvantage. I am sure they are wiser than me. I guess I am the only one who is a full time student there. All of them were either married, working. They are there for personal interest, enrichment or their job requires psychology skills. I feel that they are more motivated than me. They are really there for a purpose. Is this really what you call a dream? They have to work in the morning and attend lessons during night time and they have lots of other commitments as well. Family, work etc. Can you imagine that they have to do presentations, research work, and reports for both their studies and jobs?
I’m kinda afraid I can’t click with them due to age gap. My sister is 28 years old and I have some problems communicating with her.
1st day of school and we were assigned to hand up a report (deadline 1 week) and do a thorough research on twins.
Everything is independent study.
I have never really done research work and reports before so I have no idea how to start.
And the lecturer stated really clearly that I have to response in a psychological point of view so .......
HOW ON EARTH TO START?
WHAT ARE THE FACTORS you have to consider?????????
I’m starting to lose confidence in myself.
I am so lost now!
I will not lose faith in myself.
I am going to strive on!
This is my dream!
GOD WILL HELP ME THROUGH THE WAY!
AJAR AJAR FIGHTING!
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I
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Jan 12, 2009 11:12 pm
870 Views
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난 이제부터 저는 한국에 입력을 배우고있는 거 같아요.
이 날 향상시킬 수있는 유일한 방법입니다.
최근에 난 정말 축복받은 느낌입니다.
그 많은 사람들이 정말 날 사랑 느낌.
나의 자매, 부모, 친구 및 지인.
이 세상에서 오전 목적이 내가 여기에 대한.
내가 당신들 모두를 사랑한다.
정말이야.
고마워요, 아빠와 엄마
내 꿈은 나에게 중요하고 당신을 알고있다
따라서, 당신은 내 꿈을 지원하는
I think I have to start typing in Korean now.
This is the only way to improve my Korean skills.
Recently, I feel really blessed.
I feel that there are a lot of people who love me.
My sisters, parents, friends and acquaintances.
They made me feel that I am in this world for a purpose.
I love you all of you
I really do.
Thank you, dad and mom.
My dreams are important to me and you knew that.
Thus, you supported my dreams.
You know that if you don't , I will be disappointed and upset. You know that even if you don't I will still state my stand really clearly. I won't let anything waiver my decision. I am persistent and strong, I wonㅤㅁㅝㅍ let anyone/anything /any barriers destroy my dreams. I will prove to everyone that I am serious this time, I am not fooling around, I am in a clear state of mind and I am sane.
I still remember the expressions on my folks' faces when I announced that I'm taking a year off from school. I still remember how I insisted of retaking my exams to get into psychology course and they feel that I should just take up the aerospace avionics course that the pre-college offered. I am glad that I'm a head strong person. I'm glad that I was still strong at that period of predicament to insist on my stand instead of breaking down and giving up. I am glad that my dad & mom gave me the time and one more chance to prove that I can do it. I am glad that they trusted me and have faith in me.
Sometimes, I have people coming up to me and telling me that I made a bad choice, I was wrong to be so narrow minded, I wasted 1 year of my life, etc. I beg to differ. I don't feel that pursuing my dreams make me narrow minded. Besides, it is very realistic to be a psychiatrist and mediator. I just have to put in effort and pray that god will guide me. Within a year, I learnt a lot of things from reality, the real world. I learnt that you cannot have both sides of the world. I learnt that you cannot please everyone no matter how hard you try. My EQ improved tremendously. Sure, you can learn lots of things from school. You can pick up lots of theory knowledge but you just can't pick up ways to improve on your EQ. I'm more street wise now. I get to know what is right and what is wrong. 1 year of contact with all kinds of human beings: Stalkers, maniac, nasty people, people who gossip and bitch about you, nice people, and judgmental people. I learnt different techniques to tackle different humans. You can't learn this from school.
If you find it hard to just agree with me, you don't have to. Just don't judge me, at least not straight in my face. When you find the need to say something nasty about me, scram off to a corner and say whatever you likes. Don't try putting me down as well. I can't take it when I have to bear with it and swallow all humiliations. Because I know I just can't retaliate even I have the right to do so.
Anyway, I feel really glad. Other than feeling Glad I feel HAPPY,ELATED,BLESSED,EXCITED and ANXIOUS as well. This is gonna be a new start for my new life. I will cherish every single soul who loves me and every opportunity that come on my way. I can't wait for school to start later on! I can't wait to welcome my new life with open arms!
God bless all kind souls
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RANTINGS! No obligations to please everyone~
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Jan 8, 2009 7:20 am
900 Views
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I’m gonna rant now. Please pardon me.
1) I think god is testing my patience. I typed out my blog post and I pressed on shift + P. I thought it’s supposed to be the shortcut key for preview. I guess I was wrong! It was supposed to be CTRL + P. For this silly mistake of mine, I have to re-type everything again. So here I am in Microsoft typing out a draft of my blog post. (P.s : Don’t wonder why I didn’t undo it. I tried that and I realized that blogger don’t have that function AT ALL! This proves that Xanga and live journal is a much better choice as compared to blogger!!)
2) I think the possibility of me conking out is really high. I’m extremely worn out recently. I can fall asleep standing up and doze off while I read my favourite title by Jodi Picoult. Every inch of my muscles ache every single day. Even though my body is tired, my brains just beg to differ and it keeps on running, refusing me a break. I have incurable insomnia and it seems like a vicious cycle that is going to haunt me for a lifetime. Being heavily dependent on caffeine, I must drink at least 3 cups of coffee every day. Ironically, I need caffeine to combat caffeine. What I mean was that I drink coffee in the morning to help me stay awake, surprisingly the effects last till midnight which caused me to stay much alive during my bedtime. This makes me really sleepy the next morning and then, I have to drink coffee again. If I don’t drink any coffee on that day, I must drink at least caffeine-based stuffs like hot chocolate and tea. I have no idea if it was part of the psychological effects that caffeine played on my brains or was it scientifically proven that humans will feel lethargic, restless and cranky if they tried to kick away the addiction. I heard of this Guinness world record holder managed to win the challenge of staying awake for a week but he eventually died. Insomnia pose as a major threat to me now cause I am afraid my brains might not have enough oxygen and I will eventually pass away like the record holder. Laugh all you want. I’m serious.
3) I am god damn annoyed by people who send me instant messages when I’m busy. These people (no names mention) can obviously see that my MSN status is busy and yet they can keep on bugging me. Needless to say, all these people are my acquaintances. They kept on requesting to chat via webcam and send me webcam invitations. I was afraid that I might sound too impolite if I tell them that I am busy but if I accept, my friends will be pissed off cause they can tell when I’m losing concentration. So I have to make this pathetic yet clever move to appear offline in order to chat with my close friends. It is very frustrating when you don’t even have enough time to toggle the several conversations that you are holding and there are more to come when people just simply don’t understand the word ‘busy’ and decides to add on to your load. As I mentioned, they are just ACQUAINTANCES. Why do they ask so much from me??I’m a human. I’m not goddess. I can’t please everyone. I see no obligations to please everyone.
4) Am I very unforgiving or do I have the right to resent my in-charge? This lady reassured us that there is no CCTV/hidden camera in the storeroom (it acts as a changing room as well). So my co-workers and I have been changing inside for the past 7 months. She didn’t even bothers to tell us to stop changing inside. She had seen us naked for the past 7 months and she don’t feel bad or awkward for not letting us know anything? What can we do inside the storeroom?? She just don’t trust us at all! Seriously, I think she have some kinda psychological mental distress of being overly paranoid. I am not saying this out of spite or anger or impulse cause I have analyses her for a long period of time and this is just my conclusion. I have been with her for the past 14 months and yet she don’t trust me a single bit at all?? I swear I put in effort to gain her trust, or at least I thought so. I have done my part, what about her?
épargnez-moi de tous ces non-sens!!!
God bless us!
DONE WITH RANTINGS!!!
I feel much better now!
Hurray!!!
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God bless Thailand and all THAI
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Dec 31, 2008 10:34 pm
1365 Views
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People, let us all pray for Thailand for their well-being.Recently there are a lot of things happening in Thailand. Dispute over elections and Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. Thailand anti-government protests and just today, the nightclub fire in Thailand. 59 people died and 130 injured. God bless all of their souls. What they just wanted was a good memorable countdown celebration. They were all looking towards a bright future, a new year, a new start and all of these are dashed. Some of them might be even traumatized for their whole life to watch their acquaintances die in agony in front of them and they are powerless to save them.
God, why are so many things happening to Thailand?
Their people, all Thai must be badly affected. With this entire economy crisis etc Thai must have really suffered. They need tourists attractions to sustain good economy and they depended heavily on that but now with all these chaos who even dare to enter Thailand without fearing that they are in the risk of losing their life?
It seem like bad things are like a snowball rolling on and on and getting bigger. It was like accumulated and poses as a threat to all of them. Everything seems like a vicious cycle. Someone have to put all these to a stop. No matter who, just someone. Some hero or heroine. Maybe the king of Thailand. They just bid 2008 goodbye yesterday and today, 2009 the nightclub fire occurred. All we can do is to pray for them.
God bless Thailand and all Thai.
God bless everyone else as well.
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I'm sorry, seriously.
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Dec 29, 2008 9:12 pm
1409 Views
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Jes tried to get through my cellphone yesterday. She called me the whole day and I didn't even manage to pick up one of her calls. She must be god damn disappointed cause she needed someone to talk to when she's down.
I'm sorry, gal. I swear my cell phone was on silent mode and I wasn't anywhere near my cellphone.I was busy with something else as well.
I think I ought to set my priorities right and well. I shouldn't be chatting online that often. I shouldn't be committed to replying emails. I should just spend more time with my AUTHENTIC friends and family. I should just cut down the time spent building rapport with acquaintances.
I know who is true to me and who aint.
I know who tries to stuck me up, flatter me and who's being honest to me.
I know who tries to put me down and who tries to encourage me.
I know everything.
I'm not being ignorant.
I should reduce my commitments, at least unnecessary commitments.
I shouldn't be multi-tasking all the time.
Sometimes, I have to pay someone full attention.
I have no idea why but I feel that doing one thing only is a waste of time.
I dislike it when ppl ask for full attention.
I wasn't aware that ppl felt pissed off with me when I made them wait for long while I toggle other conversations.
They would said that it's okay and it's fine with them.
I guess I was aware after all but I choose to ignore. I neglected some of my friends' feelings.
I wasn't there when they need me most.
I wasn't there to console them, give them advices and reassurances.
I'm certain how it feels like when you felt down due to several reasons and you punched the key pad of your cellphone frantically and tried dialling your friend's number but you couldn't get through the line at all.
I'm sincerely sorry.
I'm not apologizing because it's part of the sentence or being polite or whatsoever.
I'm truly sorry.
I'm not saying these because it reduces the amount of guilt or the intensity of guilt.
I'm saying all these because this is exactly how I'm feeling right now.
I'm afraid that after using my persona to face alot of ppl,accquaintances,
I'm slowly allowing my persona to be part of my personality.
I'm afraid that when the next time I talk to you, It's my persona instead of personality.
I'm afraid of losing my personality to my persona.
I'm afraid of losing myself.
I'm afraid of losing my true/real/precious friends.
I swear I'm gonna make more time for you guys.
I'll try my very best to recover all the time lost.
I'll make sure that you guys gain all the attention that you are supposed to have from me.
Once again, to all ppl whom I have hurt/ignored/neglected I'M SORRY.
P.s: (thanks mm for being there for Jes when I wasn't available. I read her blog and she said she was glad that you was there yesterday to make her laugh wholeheartedly. You are really a great person)
God bless all of you.
God bless Jes’s weary soul.
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