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school update
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Jun 7, 2010 11:13 am
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Well, class started on May 18, and so far I am doing okay. I am rustier than I thought and have struggles with a couple of assignments.
My biggest obstacle is getting the books for the next class...whicj I have no money for.
Say some prayers.
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5 Surgeons
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May 22, 2010 4:39 pm
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Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best
patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think
librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like
construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong." Politicians" are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the butt are interchangeable.
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Yogi Berra Quotes
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May 22, 2010 4:38 pm
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"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did." -
"All pitchers are liars or crybabies."
"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." Source: Baseball Digest (June 1987)
"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."
"Bill Dickey is learning me his experience."
"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."
"How can a you hit and think at the same time?"
"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
"I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won twenty-five games. What I don't understand is how he lost five."
"I don't know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads."
"If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?"
"I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary."
"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did."
"In baseball, you don't know nothing."
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
"I never said most of the things I said."
"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."
"It gets late early out there."
"I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house."
"It's like deja vu all over again."
"I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did anything wrong on the field. I'd never seen him dive for a ball, everything was a chest-high catch, and he never walked off the field."
"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets." Source: Catcher in the Wry (Bob Uecker)
"Ninety percent of this game is half mental." Source: Sports Illustrated (May 14, 1979)
"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."
"So I'm ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face."
"Take it with a grin of salt."
"The game's isn't over until it's over."
"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
"You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going because you might not get there."
"We made too many wrong mistakes."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
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Going back to school
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May 22, 2010 11:57 am
2815 Views
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After 30 years, I am going back to school. But not community college.
I have enrolled at a university that offers on line classes. And I am going for my B.A. in Health and Human Services.
Just what I'm going to do with it I have no idea yet.
Class started on the 18th. I have one more thing to do to finish up the 1st week.
Just 4 more week until the next class.
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Things To Ponder...Or Not
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May 5, 2010 12:30 pm
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Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America...do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
I like this one!!! If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?
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This Day In History
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Mar 18, 2010 11:56 am
4677 Views
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March 18,1909
Einar Dessau of Denmark used a shortwave transmitter to talk with a government radio post -- in what is believed to have been the first broadcast by a "ham" operator.
Famous Birthdays
March 18,1858
Rudolf Diesel, German engineer who designed the compression-ignition engine.
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THIS DAY IN HISTORY
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Mar 17, 2010 1:53 pm
3244 Views
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March 16,1899
The first-ever radio distress call was sent, summoning assistance for a merchant ship off the coast of England
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Words for the day
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Mar 17, 2010 1:30 pm
3216 Views
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epicene
Definition: having the characteristics of both the male and the female
contrite
Definition: feeling or expressing grief and regret for sins or offenses
noisome
Definition: offensive or disgusting
wunderkind
Definition: one who achieves success or acclaim during youth
badinage
Definition: light, playful talk
bellwether
Definition: a leader or leading indicator
dilettante
Definition: an admirer or lover of the fine arts
termagant
Definition: a scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman
schadenfreude
Definition: a malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others
suasion
Definition: the act of persuading
ersatz
Definition: being a substitute or imitation
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Girlie Wisdom
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Mar 13, 2010 12:40 pm
2992 Views
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1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She has 14 kids, but doesn't really care.
2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. And sometimes forgets its way home!
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight
shoe s.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain
consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my underwear.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things
like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat! '
Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat !
12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
SEND THIS TO 5 BRIGHT WOMEN YOU KNOW AND MAKE THEIR DAY!!!
LIVE SIMPLY......LAUGH OFTEN....LOVE DEEPLY
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Frustration and Incompetence Abound
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Mar 10, 2010 11:56 am
2940 Views
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Wednesday of last week I phoned in refills of my pain meds so I would get them on Friday. I had enough to get me through to Thursday, so I figured I was okay.
Stupid me.
I was waiting for delivery on Friday. About 5:15PM I get a phone call from someone at the company asking me for a gatecode, as the driver could not get in. I informed the caller that there is no gatecode, just lift the latch and enter.
She said she would note it for the driver for Monday's delivery.
This means I went all day Friday, Saturday, Sunday and 1/2 of Monday with no pain pills. And when he did show up, he had the wrong damn pills!! Not his fault, but the pharmacy's.
Now each driver is assigned a number and it turns out that the driver who needed a gatecode to get in was the same driver who has been deilvering my meds for over a year now. I called the company and pitched a fit. Then I called the pharmacy and pitched another fit. With any luck I will get ALL the refills today or tomorrow.
But dear friends, my fit pitching is not done. I had an appointment Monday for a female physical, but called to cancel as I was in a great deal of pain. I could barely walk, so driving an hour round trip and being poked and prodded was not going to help. I was told to call back when I was ready to reschedule. So I called yesterday morning to do so. The girl told me to call back when I was ready to reschedule and she couldn't help me because she was on the computer.
Am I right in my fit pitching? Or am I just being overly sensitive?
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