|
Metaphor and Simile...
|
Apr 11, 2008 12:37 pm
1532 Views
|
Every year, English teachers can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Here are the last year's winners...
1- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had it's two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2- She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli., and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
3- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
4- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
5- He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
6- The revelation that is marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infedelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surchage-free ATM machine.
7- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
8- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavment like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
9- Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a snooze.
10- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picked fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
11- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
12- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
13- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids arounds with power tools.
14- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
I have a preference for #3, #11 and #14.
Have a beautiful day,
Frenchguy.
Song of the day : THE BLACK KEYS "Things ain't like they used to be"
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
-----
|
Apr 8, 2008 12:29 pm
2075 Views
|
aaarrrgghhhhh !!!!!!!
That's all.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
First they came...
|
Apr 7, 2008 6:07 pm
1632 Views
|
This is a poem attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller (1892-1984) about the inactivity of german intellectuals following the Nazi rise to power and the purging of their chosen targets, group after group.
.First, they came for the communists
and i did not speak out
because i was not a communist.
.Then they came for the jews
and i did not speak out
because i was not a jew.
.Then they came for the trade-unionists
and i did not speak out
because i was not a trade-unionist.
.Then they came for the catholics
and i did not speak out
because i was a protestant.
.Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me
(Pastor M. Niemoller)
Just came a thought, instead of boycotting an event, we could find athletes, politicians ready to honor the memory of T. Smith, J. Carlos actions (Black athletes raising their fist on the podium). A simple gesture could underline a dictatorial regim of which many countries are submit to. Economic interest and profits are so important...
This Games have a sulfur odor as those of 36 in Berlin. This Games, if we remember, were the shadows of the IIIe reich...
Beautiful day to all,
frenchguy.
Song of the day : YANN TIERSEN "Summer 78"
-I hope KFF will not erase this post-
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
|
Randoms 4...
|
Apr 5, 2008 3:22 pm
1869 Views
|
WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU HAD A ROMANTIC DINNER? At Carl's junior, i seduced myself...
DO YOU REGRET LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY TO WHO YOU LOST IT TO? No... Ludovic's sister was older and more "experienced".
IF YOU COULD MOVE ANYWHERE AND TAKE SOMEONE? Living around Carcassonne (SW of France) with Emma
FIRST THOUGHT WENT THE ALARM WENT OFF THIS MORNING? Where am i?
FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER? Eduardo from Foster's home for imaginery friends.
FAVORITE THING TO DO AT NIGHT WITH A GUY/GIRL? lol
WHEN DID YOU FIRST START FEELING OLD? i'm not old
DO YOU THINK MARRIAGE IS AN OUTDATED RITUAL? Absolutely not...
WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SENSE OF MORALITY? My grandmother was a good teacher... from myself too.
WHAT RADIO STATION IS YOUR CAR STEREO TUNED RIGHT NOW? 103.1 Indie
WHAT WAS THE LAST BOARD GAME YOU PLAYED? Chess
HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO USE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER? No
DO YOU HAVE A TEDDY BEAR? i'm 38 old !!!
DO YOU GO TO CHURCH? No
YOUR CD COLLECTION IS REPOSSESSED, YOU KEEP ONE? A best-of of Jimmy Hendrix
DO YOU BELIEVE WORLD PEACE IS POSSIBLE? No, human nature is what it is...
I'M A GENIE. NAME YOUR WISH? crapp... reality first! tired of people asking about whishes...
NAME ONE THING ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT AUTOMATICALLY TURNS YOU OFF? Big boobies..
NAME ONE THING ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT AUTOMATICALLY TURNS YOU ON? Being herself, natural...
SPEAKING OF SAME SEX, WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? Never saw it and never will...
DO PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE YOU? It happens...
IF SOMEONE AT A PARTY GIVES YOU "THE LOOK" HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO IT? the "look"... hum, i have to catch it first.
ARE YOU ATHEIST? I believe in myself...
DO YOU WEAR YOUR SWEETIE'S CLOTHES? there are too small...
DO YOU GIVE MONEY TO PAN-HANDLERS? No
DO YOU OWN A I-POD? No, Creative is better...
WHAT WAS THE LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED? A serie from HBO "Rome" (on dvd)
WHAT SIDE OF THE BED DO YOU SLEEP ON? Right side
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE STORE? Target, don't know why...
DO YOU CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU? If true, longtime friends
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A. JOLIE BEING PREGNANT? Methinks that means a srpem infiltrated an embryo in her...
WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE FASHIONABLE? No, no... 100$ for a pair of jeans !! WTF !!
IF YOU WERE BORN THE OPPOSITE SEX, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME BE? Penelope, Emma or Audrey... and of course Frenchgirl.
Have a beautiful day.
Frenchguy
Song of the day : RAMMSTEIN "Reise, Reise"
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
|
Escalators...
|
Mar 31, 2008 11:58 pm
1693 Views
|
Escalators...
The only place on earth where, in public, your eyes can stare straight at the shapely bum of a complete stranger of the opposite sex; at a distance of less 30cms and you don't get slapped by anyone.
I take the stairs to avoid any frustration...
Have a beautiful day,
Frenchguy
Song of the day : AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT "Sometime around midnight"
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
A bit strange...
|
Mar 27, 2008 7:29 pm
2736 Views
|
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. Flase !
I cdnuolt blveiee taht i cluod uesdnatnnd waht i was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat lteter be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcusease the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh ?! yaeh... and i awlyas tghuhot slpeing was ipmorantt !!!
Hvae a butiufael day
Fecrnh Guy
Snog of the day : CAT POWER "Metal heart"
|
|
|
16
Comments
|
|
|
Woman words...
|
Mar 25, 2008 3:30 pm
1712 Views
|
This past sunday was my "cranky old men" reunion. We are 4 friends who, once in a while, take a seat around good wine bottles and gourmet food to discuss about everything. We had 2 guests, one of which newlywed (just 24 years old),who was wondering what the futur will bring.
Our conversation went from A to Z about relationship but we conclued that communication was an important subject, especially when your wife/girlfriend use this words :
FINE :
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you NEED to shut-up.
5 MINUTES :
If she is getting dressed, this means a half-hour. But 5 minutes is only AND ONLY 5 minutes if you have just been given this extra time to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING :
ouuuhhhh !!! This is the calm before the storm. You SHOULD be on your guard !!! arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
GO AHEAD :
This is a DARE, not permission ! DON'T do it !!
LOUD SIGH :
This is actually a word -ohhh yes- a silent one...
often misunderstood by young men. A loud sigh means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing (refer back to #3).
THAT'S OKAY :
oooohhh man... this one is a KILLER !!! It's the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man... It means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding HOW and WHEN you will pay for your mistake... (i pity the fool)
THANKS :
A woman is thanking you, DO NOT question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
WHATEVER :
Is a woman's way of saying F@!# YOU !!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'LL DO IT :
... dangerous. Something is ready to ignite !! This is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a young man asking "what's wrong ?" . For the woman's response refer #3)
At the end, We, old cranky men, admitted to fall in those traps once in a while.... yep, whatever our age, men still have to learn.
Beautiful day to all,
Frenchguy.
Song of the day : LINDA PERRY "Fill me up"
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
Cow and politic...
|
Mar 24, 2008 1:16 am
1852 Views
|
Socialism : you have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism : you have 2 cows, the state take both and gives you some milk.
Fascism : you have 2 cows, the state take both and sells you some milk.
Nazism : you have 2 cows, the state take both and shoots you.
Capitalism : you have 2 cows, you sell one and buy a bull. your heird multiplies as the profit. you sell them and retire.
Surrealism : you have 2 giraffes, the government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
American corp. : you have 2 cows, sell one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
French corp. : you have 2 cows, you go on strike, organise a riot and blocks the roads. you want 3 cows.
Japanese corp. : you have 2 cows. you redesign them so they are one-tenth the regular size and produce twenty times more. you create a clever cow cartoon called Cowkemon and Hello Cow !
Italian corp. : you have 2 cows but you don't know where they are, you decide to have lunch.
Russian corp. : you have 2 cows, you count them and learn you have 5. you count again and learn you have 42 of them. you count again and learn you have 2 cows. you stop counting and open a new bottle of vodka.
Chinese corp. : you have 2 cows. you have 300 people milking them, you claim full employement, high-productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
British corp. : you have 2 cows. both are mad.
Have a beautiful day,
Frenchguy
Song of the day : INFORMATION SOCIETY "What's on your mind (pure energy)"
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
Going to heaven.
|
Mar 24, 2008 12:19 am
1414 Views
|
Yesterday a DVD i ordered from E-Bay came in, and in the package was one of those little "Jesus-Christian" business cards.
I was so delighted !!!
The card reads :
Front:
God loves you !
How to become a christian
and know you are
going to heaven.
Back:
Ask for forgiveness for your sins
Ask Jesus to be your savior
Ask Jesus to come into your heart
(revelation 3:201)
Ask Jesus to fill you with the Holy spirit
(ephesians 5:185)
You have eternal life !
(:1 John 5:13)
Please visit our ministry web site at :
www.All***********.org
Also see www.Jesus**********.com
Well, Jesus is great and all but i really don't need this type of "literature". I still left positive feedback for the user with a comment :
" I will accept Jesus as my savior if you accept Obama as yours".  Fun for me....
But, are people really converted by getting a Jesus business card by mail? it's nice, glossy, pretty and all but it really doesn't push me to become a "follower".
I still see a positive side, it's quite formidable that "God loves you" and all the steps for "getting into heaven" can fit on a simple card.
-Did i mention ... the DVD title is "The Boondock Saints". 
Beautiful day to all
Frenchguy
Song of the day : VELVET ACID CHRIST "Lust for blood"
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Randoms 3...
|
Mar 19, 2008 1:36 am
1555 Views
|
WHAT IS YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE? ... my eyes ?
WHAT CD IS CLOSEST TO YOU RIGHT NOW? all of them on shelves, i'm not messy...
3 THINGS ALWAYS BE FOUND IN YOUR FRIDGE? milk, butter and some unknown food stains...
WHAT SUPERSTITION DO YOU BELIEVE/PRACTICE? none but Voodoo is appealing...
WHAT SONG DO YOU HATE THE MOST WHEN IT GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? this advert. from Toyota "i want my mpg!" goshhh..
DID JUST MENTIONNING THAT SONG MAKE IT GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? ahahah.. Scr!w You !!!
IF YOU COULD GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME, WOULD YOU AND WHEN? yep yep... the 70's baby, the 70's !
IF YOU COULD KISS ANYONE FAMOUS WHO WOULD IT BE? don't care, at least a woman...
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIDS MOVIE? Nemo... Mulan too.
FAVORITE MUSICIAN/GROUP YOU'VE SEEN IN CONCERT? hum... U2. Lenny Kravitz (at his debuts)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes, lucky me.
LIFE... HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? feel... i've just put up with -for now-
NAME SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my son, Alex
WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS OR TRUE LOVE? a true love
WHAT WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP AS? it was Love... my first real love
WOULD YOU RATHER DATE SOMEONE 2 YEARS YOUNGER OR OLDER? i prefer younger but 2 years is nothing
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE JUNK FOOD? cheetos puffs...
WHAT KIND OF BIRTH CONTROL DO YOU USE? huh? if you knew how long i didn't have sex...lol
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE IN PRISON? yes (oversea)
PRETEND YOU'RE DEEP 15 BEERS, DESCRIBE WHAT WOULD YOU DO? ...eating.
DO YOU HAVE ANY REALLY CRAZY RELATIVES? yes, but crazy in a good way. Well, i suppose...
HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN NAKED AT A PARTY? ahah... of course.
ARE YOU NAME AFTER A GRANDPARENT? no... i miss that actually.
WHO LOVES YOU? ... this is a good question.
DO YOU THROW UP GANG SIGNS? what for ?
HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A RIBS? no !! and i'm glad of that, it's freaking painful !!
WOULD YOU EVER WORK FOR THE BORDER PATROL? no, no...
DO YOU HAVE A PORN COLLECTION? i have some dvds... but far to be a collection.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP? yes, Emma is Korean -
IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ON A HOLLIDAY? no, why ?
DO YOU LIKE POLAR BEARS? nothing against until they try to ate me..
DO YOU LIKE ALLIGATORS? yes, they do nice boots, belts...
ARE YOU ATHEIST? i believe in myself first... (grew up catholic though)
Beautiful day to all,
Frenchguy
Song of the day : BEDOUIN SOUNDCLASH "Until we burn in the sun (the kids just want a love song)"
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (frenchguy38) use [blog frenchguy38] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
71
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
|
